If you’re like me, your life has been marked by one achievement after another. I was a ‘joy to have in class.” I followed the rules, climbed the ladder of success and checked all the boxes. I believed if I did everything right, I would naturally live a happy, peaceful existence, right?

As it turns out, checking all the boxes doesn’t automatically result in happiness. (Shocking!) As you probably know, or read in an Instagram meme, “Happiness is an inside job.”

What the heck does that mean? It means your joy, peace and overall sense of well-being don’t come from outside forces. YOU are actually the driver of your happiness. It comes from inside of you.

This doesn’t mean you should tightly grip the wheel and drive toward as much happy-inducing stuff as possible. In fact, the more you DO, the further away you’ll feel from the deep peace and happiness you’re craving. It’ll feel good for a little bit, but the happiness high will fade.

It’s about doing less and instead, expressing more of what makes you feel like you. If no one has reminded you lately, you are enough without improving, striving and making things happen. The trick is to simply BE. 

As someone who’s grappled with the subtle distinction between “doing” and “being,” I know this concept can sound confusing. It doesn’t mean we have to stop being productive and having goals. We still have things to do, after all! Instead, it’s about recognizing when you are over-using action to make yourself feel “enough.”

When we’re in action mode, our energy may be hurried, anxious, or based in fear and scarcity. And when we operate from that place of “not enough,” our actions and words take on that energy, whether we recognize it or not.

It can sound like, “There’s not enough time!” or “I’ll be happy when…” or “I don’t have what it takes,” or “I’m so busy.”

However, when we operate from a place of enoughness and abundance, the energy behind our actions feels more aligned. Our demeanor is more relaxed and the spirit of our actions comes less from a place of control and neediness. Even if we don’t have it all figured out, deep down we trust we can figure it out. 

For me, “being” is about believing I already possess the gifts and tools I need, rather than automatically assuming I have to go out and get more. But what are these gifts and tools? How do we find them?

Let’s do this: Close your eyes and imagine a time you were totally in your zone. Situations where things felt effortless, connected and full of possibility, peace or joy. What’s the scene? Who are you with? What words describe you? Which favorite characteristics are you bringing to the table?

Write down those words. Those are your go-to “being” words. These are the gifts you naturally embody when you’re vibing at your most favorite frequency. What amazing gifts you have!  

I’m most in the zone when I’m in a deep one-on-one conversation with someone and experiencing genuine connection. What I love most about myself in those moments is how I’m present, curious, loving and open. I don’t need to go out and get any fancy certifications to become more loving. It’s naturally flowing from me. 

How can you harness these gifts and bring them more intentionally into your day-to-day? What activities get you closer? Maybe it’s a connected conversation with a friend, an afternoon walk, a few deep breaths during a meeting or undistracted time to explore your creativity.

Let these words become your daily intention and choose them frequently. And remember, you don’t have to go out and achieve anything to get more of these. In fact, the harder you push, the more that forceful energy will undermine your gifts.

I understand this can feel foreign, especially when we’ve been accustomed to achieving successful lives by pushing and doing more. Consider this your bold invitation to redefine success, to question the status quo that tells you “more, more, more,” and instead, find deep joy and confidence in simply being your magnificent self.