I’ve often worn the label “busy” like a badge of honor. How are you? I’m doing well. Busy! How are things? Things are good! Just staying busy… To be busy meant I hustled. I worked hard. I was important. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has tied her own worth up in how many things get checked off the to do list in a day or how filled the social calendar is.

When I was growing up, my mom often commented that I wasn’t happy unless all the squares in my calendar were filled. I thrived on doing. And I operated this way for much of my 35 years, filling every crook and cranny of my day planner with projects, classes, coffees, lunches, happy hours, you name it. A full calendar meant a full life. The fuller the better!

Then, in March 2020, that all came to a startling halt. Suddenly all my plans, my to-dos, my carefully filled in calendar squares were wiped. And you know what? As scary and uncertain and strange that time was, there was something incredibly refreshing about the space and prospective it provided. Sure, I made my share of self-imposed to-do lists (hello, sewing throw pillows and organizing the spice cabinet), but there was also time where what was once “go, go go,” shifted to “just be.” Gone was the constant FOMO, because guess what? There was nothing to “MO” on.

But what that space opened up was something unexpectedly beautiful. I spent afternoons in the backyard reading in the sunshine. I took my pup for more walks than he could dream. I enjoyed the simple pleasure of tidying my garden. I practiced sitting in stillness. I watched thunderstorms curled up on the couch in our sunporch. I cranked up music and danced in my kitchen while making dinner.

About a month ago, when it felt as if the world was finally opening back up, I noticed myself once again filling in my calendar with frenzied enthusiasm. Girl’s night! Family brunch! Birthday party! Networking dinner! Breakfast meeting! I was thrilled to be once again connecting with friends and colleagues, having places to go, and things to do. But when I took a step back and looked at my jam-packed schedule, I suddenly felt very tired.

Maybe you’ve been feeling the same. Excited about the “return to normal,” but feeling a bit overwhelmed at the same time.

It’s for that reason that this summer I’m tucking the busy badge away. Instead, I’ve created 3 simple intentions for myself and my life that I’m using as my North star. And for every invitation, commitment, project, etc. I write down in my planner, it has to align with and support one of my intentions. If it doesn’t, it’s simply a no.

Here are my intentions:

• I show up for myself. This is often the hardest, but 100% the most important. It’s like they tell you on an airplane: Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. For me, I’m saying yes to my morning and evening routines because I know how great that makes me feel and how better equipped I am to be there for others throughout the day. I’m making time for yoga and movement and journaling. I’m embracing stillness and quiet so I can check in with myself and how I’m really feeling to avoid burnout.
• I show up for my people. This means I’m saying an enthusiastic yes to dinners, brunches, and parties when I crave connection and know I can be fully present. And I’m saying no to the same invitations when I when I feel drained, need to recharge, and just be. I’m saying yes to more 1 on 1 coffees and lunches when I know I can listen and engage fully. And I’m saying no to events that require the kind of small talk that ultimately deplete me.
• I invest in projects that set my heart on fire. I often say yes to things because I don’t want to disappoint someone else. Or I simply should because I have the time or could make the time. But what I’ve found is that only leads to resentment and lackluster work. So instead, I’m politely declining opportunities when they don’t make me giddy excited, because that gives me the time and energy to fully invest my whole heart into those that do.

So, tell us, are you a busy bee looking to hang up your badge? What intentions would you set for yourself? What are you making more space for this summer?